10 Signs You Need to Break-up

Many ladies I know get sucked into crappy relationships because they don’t notice the huge, often-obvious-to-everyone-else, red flags. It happened to me multiple times. So here are some signs that you need to break-up with your boyfriend. Like, yesterday.

**This advice is based solely on my own experiences. Hopefully I can spare you from wasting another minute in a relationship that’s sucking the life out of you. 

10 Signs You Need to Break-Up

1. If he is telling you that he loves/likes you but acts like he doesn’t.
Guys are smarter than we think. They know what to say to get what they want. So if a guy is telling you all the right things, but acting like a jerk, he’s just using you. Really. A man who is serious about loving you is serious about showing you.

2. If he doesn’t respect you, your friends, or your family.
Any guy worth five minutes of your time better respect you and everyone who matters to you: friends, parents, siblings, coach, mentor, etc.

3. If his actions, words or lack of actions and words causes you to cry on a regular basis.
Some guys act like jerks and it causes us to cry. Sometimes what they don’t do causes us to cry. If your man is causing you to cry on a regular basis because you are angry, hurt, upset, frustrated, etc., it’s time to drop him.

4. If your best friends and family all think your guy is lame.
Your family and friends all care about you and probably know you better than anyone else. So if they see some red flags, be willing to hear them out; 98% of the time, they just want you to be happy. There’s probably a reason why they’re concerned.

5. If he lies to you about anything. Ever.
Lying is stupid and cowardly. The only reason why any guy would ever lie to you is because he’s too scared to tell you the truth. Don’t ever believe the “I lied because I didn’t want to hurt you” nonsense. A real man tells the truth even if it’s hard.

6. If he doesn’t respond to your messages.
Your boyfriend should want to talk to you. He should want to respond to your calls and texts. He should want to share things about his life with you. If he’s ignoring you, he’s lame.

7. If he says, “I don’t want to be official right now.”
If your guy likes/loves you like he claims, he will not want people to think you are single. You should never be acting like you are dating but saying “we’re not official right now.” That is crazy.

8. If you are constantly confused about your relationship and what’s going on.
Mature relationships require mature people. That means you tell each other what’s going on even if you risk a potentially awkward situation.

9. If he is always jealous. Or controlling. 
Jealously is not attractive. Any guy who tries to control your time or energy or friendships by pulling the jealousy guilt trip is not  mature enough to be dating you.

10. If there is any possibility that someone else could make you happier.
If you’re dating and you find yourself regularly wondering if that other guy you know would make you happier, it’s time to call it quits. A healthy relationship doesn’t require a back-up guy.

Good guys do exist. Don’t waste any more time missing out.


7 thoughts on “10 Signs You Need to Break-up

  1. WORD! So true Arden. I feel very passionate about this subject…thanks for blogging about it!

    You may find this ministry to be interesting and even helpful with the gals you work with (I believe you do some youth ministry, yes?)


    Dionne just wrote a book, which you might find to be a good resource as well:

    It’s not 100% my twist, but I think her heart is in the right place and I am so passionate about girls being in HEALTHY relationships, so I don’t feel a need to get caught up on the details.

    Again, thanks for sharing!

  2. I think this is a great resource for middle and high-school aged women! Would you be willing to concede that, in the search for a husband (Junior/Senior year of College and afterword), #10 might be a little harsh? I know that there were hundreds of times when I failed to make my then-girlfriend as happy as I am sure one of her other guy friends could have – but thanks to her & God’s grace and love, she was willing to stick with me, and now we are married, and will stay married through happiness and unhappiness. Though I surely agree with the never-settle-sentiment, at some point in a healthy relationship comes a time to forgive, love and serve as opposed to pointing out that your boyfriend or girlfriend is not matching up to person X or Y.

  3. 11. If he cries during…kissing.

    12. If he constantly talks about how pretty your sister is

    13. If his name is Frank. I’ve never known any good Franks.

    14. If he passes gas and then says things like “Did somebody just step on a frog?”

    15. If he tries to add on to other people’s already suitable lists just to get attention and try to be funny.

  4. Very perceptive. I agree with all of these, although #10 could be a little tricky… There’s always a possibility that someone else could make you happier because there’s no way you’ll meet every guy in the world. So I guess there’s always a chance. And after a big fight, it can sometimes seem like any other guy would be better than the one you’re with, haha. The important thing is just to keep your perspective about it.

    • I would agree. I think the point being that if you are consistently finding yourself thinking/wondering that you could be happier, he probably isn’t the best! I know that there are tough days for my husband and me, and even when we were dating some days were harder. But the small amount that I was unhappy didn’t keep me constantly wondering if another guy would make me happier. thnx for the comment 🙂

  5. Oh I love it, great 10 signs, plus the 5 that Kevin just HAD to leave, lol. I especially agree with the texting. I WON’T be ignored Dan! (said in my best Glen Close voice)

    Anyone for some boiled bunny?

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